Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
Title
Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
Sequence of events: What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
First Draft
My failed feast
It is a another sunny day at the African Savannah resting in the sun is just a lion thing. I see the buffaloes coming towards us I see a calf. They are coming closer how do they not see us lions. It’s December so the buffaloes start to migrate. The buffaloes are walking towards the river bank, we like to rest by and relax. I’m feeling really nervous but at the same time feeling ready.
Good job Sharlisa I like your story. I like when you were described your feeling when you were nervous but at the same time you were ready at the end. I think you should fix the part that says we like to rest by and relax. Well done Sharlisa.
ReplyDeleteFantastic work sharlisa i really like how you put the words nervous and ready. And African Savannah resting in the sun is just a lion thing. But you're missing some punctuation anyway great work and keep it up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your guys feedback and I will make the changes in my second draft:)
ReplyDeleteGood job Sharlisa I like your story. I like when you were described your feeling when you were nervous but at the same time you were ready at the end. I think you should fix the part that says we like to rest by and relax. Well done Sharlisa.
ReplyDelete